you know that burning you get in your eyes when you've been up for too long or staring at the stupid computer for too long or whatever but you aren't tired so you can't sleep?

It bugs me. I can't do anything that involves my eyes being open, but I can't sleep. I can lie in bed or sit somewhere with my eyes closed and think. How thrilling.

Sometimes I think i might have ADD. I often get up and walk to the kitchen and then forget why I'm there. I've opened the fridge door and found myself staring into the fridge, having forgotten what I wanted to get out of there. I' ve found the teapot in the fridge and had no clue how it got there. I forget to do things that people ask me to do and that I say I'll do. And to have not yet talked about the computer is to have been brutally dishonest because at the moment that's still my life. I open new tabs and forget immediately where I wanted to go in them. I click on the menu bar only to forget what I wanted to do. I open my illegal file sharing program and then forget what song I opened it specifically to steal.

But the one that pisses me off the most isn't computer related. It's lying in bed not sleeping related. I let my mind wander, and wonder it does. Sometimes I'll think of something that sounds like a good idea or just some thought that interests me and that I decide that I want to think more about. But in the split second between the thought and the realisation that I want to remember it or focus on it, it's gone. I can't remember what the thought/idea was or even a general theme. sometimes i feel that I can rememebr the lead up to the thought, but when I actually try to focus on that, I can't remember that either. but it feels like i should be able to. I don't even know what these thoughts are, if they're images, ideas, words... they're just completely forgotten as soon as they are thought. One use only. Transience at its best.